THE MAN-O-GRAM

 

I left the county hospital

In some considerable distress

They made me put my todger

Inside a bloody trouser press

WHEN I WALKED INTO MY FRIEND’S HOUSE

 

When I walked into my friend’s house

I can’t describe the mess I found

I thought it had been burgled, but

His grandchildren had been round

WHEN I WALKED INTO THE ROOM

 

When I walked into the room

I can’t describe the mess

I thought it had been burgled

It’s because he’s a student I guess

A MAN WAS TALKING TO AN ACQUAINTANCE

 

A man was talking to an acquaintance

About the level of maintenance

Required on the average dwelling

Guttering, painting, and gardening

The list was endless on their houses

And they admired the work of their spouses

MY HUSBAND HAS LOST THE PLOT

 

My husband has lost the plot

It’s the worst he’s been so far

He tried to change the TV

Channel with a chocolate bar

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 220

A farmer went trotting

Upon his grey mare,

Bumpety, bumpety, bump!

With his daughter behind him

So buxom and fair,

BUMPETY, BUMPETY, BUMP!

ARE YOU WEARING MOURNING WEAR?

 

Are you wearing mourning wear?

I’m sorry, you are the grieving wife?

I hear you’re not a very merry widow

So, did you drive him to take his own life?