SHE WAS AN OLD LONELY WIDOW # 2

 

She was an old lonely widow

Who you’d only bed for a bet

So, she kept filling his glass

Periodically asking “Am I sexy yet?”

ARE YOU WEARING MOURNING WEAR?

 

Are you wearing mourning wear?

I’m sorry, you are the grieving wife?

I hear you’re not a very merry widow

So, did you drive him to take his own life?

WOULD YOU MARRY AGAIN?

A wife asked her husband

“Would you marry again? If I died?"

"No, I would definitely not"

The husband lied

 

“Good. I wouldn’t want you

To get another spouse

Or have another woman

Living in my house”

 

“Or using my golf clubs

At the club on ladies’ day”

“Well,” he said “don’t worry

She’s left-handed anyway."

THE WIDOW’S MITE

 

The Vicar’s sermon

Frank and forthright

Raised the question

Of the widow’s mite

 

Quite unnecessary

In my humble view

Because in our parish

There are only two

And I know for a fact

That they both do