I HATE TO WATCH YOU SPRING-CLEANING

 

I hate to watch you spring-cleaning

When you mutter like a nutter

Sorting through your wardrobe

As you De-clutter your schmutter 

MY PROSPECTIVE FATHER IN LAW

 

My prospective father in law

Finally fell in love with me

At the precise moment

He found out I had a BSC 

 

Why he was so excited

Is a real mystery to me

A bronze swimming certificate

Is that prestigious, really?

WHEN I LOST YOU, I FELT DEAD TOO

 

When I lost you, I felt dead too

Apart from the constant empty pain

All I can do now is carry on living

Until the day I feel alive again

FORWARD THINKING FUNERAL DIRECTORS

 

Forward thinking Funeral directors

Strike when opportunity knocks

The one in our town won an award

For thinking outside the box

WE ALWAYS GO TO THE PICTURES

 

We always go to the pictures

For the end of week features

Never mind orange Wednesday

What we like is CGI Friday

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 217

Bessie Bell and Mary Gray,

They were two bonnie lasses:

They built their house upon the lea,

And were visited by flashers 

ARE YOU WEARING IT FOR THE CRAIC?

 

Are you wearing it for the craic?

Surely the convent will want it back

It’s your habit? Well, that’s a twister

Get away with you, you’re never a sister

Well, I say you’re too lovely to be a nun

But if I’m wrong, I’ll be getting none