DO YOU WANT BABY SPINACH

 

“Do you want Baby Spinach?

Or Water Cress Dad”

My daughter asked me

And I went completely mad

“For God’s sake just choose one

It’s not Rocket Salad”

WHERE’S THE BLOODY TORCH

 

“Where’s the bloody Torch?”

My wife asked angrily

“I don’t know where it is

Perhaps you could enlighten me”

“Well not without the Torch”

I replied curtly

IT’S NOT THE SIZE OF A MAN

 

It’s not the size of a man

That marks him high or low

It’s what is in their hearts

That makes them grow

Just look around you

And you will also know

That the smaller being

Can cast a giant shadow

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 174

 

Little Robin Red breast sat upon a tree,

He was joined by his mate, they looked so twee

They sang their little songs quite lustily

Then I threw a shoe at them you see

Because I didn’t get to bed till half past three

ARE YOU WEARING LINCOLN GREEN?

 

Are you wearing Lincoln green?

Do you really think you should?

Because this isn’t merry England

And you aren’t Robin Hood

HAS ANYONE EVER SAID TO YOU?

 

Has anyone ever said to you?

“Try and walk in someone else’s shoes”

Well, I find that for me the concept is

Quite problematic to my views

After all it would have to depend

Greatly on exactly whose shoes

I’M NOT SURE IF INDEED IT’S ME

 

I’m not sure if indeed it’s me

Or maybe its intentional irony

But you can hear the approach

Of the daily “Roach Coach”

The chime being the announcer

As it plays La Cucaracha