I’VE JUST SEEN AN APPEAL ON TV

 

I’ve just seen an appeal on TV

The plight is so unfair

Reuniting the separated

Lids with the Tupperware

I HAVE A LONGSTANDING GIRLFRIEND

 

I have a longstanding girlfriend

Who quite honestly makes me frown

I have lost count of the number of times

I’ve told her to just sit down

ELEPHANTS HAVE REALLY THICK SKIN

 

Even though they never forget

Elephants have really thick skin

So, you can say whatever you like

And really stick the knife in

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 167

 

Once I saw a little bird

Come hop, hop, hop;

So I cried: "Little bird,

Will you stop, stop, stop?"

But it didn’t stop

So I shot the little bastard

ARE YOU WEARING STILETTOS?

 

Are you wearing stilettos?

To cramp and pinch your toes

I’ll grant you have attractive pins

And the admirer certainly wins

But is it really worth the pain

To totter on your heels again

HAIR OF RED

 

Hair of red

Falls untamed

Over ivory skin

Stark in contrast

Like a crimson rose

Against bridal white

MY CAT IS A FUSSY EATER # 2

 

My cat is a fussy eater

That’s not uncommon for a Siamese

And some days only RATatouille

On a bed of Mice will please