YOU SHOULD NEVER RAISE YOUR HANDS TO YOUR KIDS

 

You should never raise

Your hands to your children

And for that, there

Is a very good reason

Not that I’m saying

They shouldn’t be corrected

But you must never

Leave your nuts unprotected

SURPRISE YOUR DAD ON FATHER’S DAY

 

Surprise your dad on Father’s Day

Asking him for advice should do it

And if you really want to surprise him

You should actually accept it

MUM KNITTED ME A JUMPER

 

Mum knitted me a jumper

I hate wearing it as I look silly

But I’m a kid so I have to

Especially when mum feels chilly

IN THE ITV NEWSROOM

 

In the ITV Newsroom

Just ahead of the action

The producer announces

“Lights Camera Fiction”

CEPHALOPODS

 

I just couldn’t make the octopus laugh

I thought he was either stupid or fickle

But no, you just need to know the secret

So, to make him laugh takes ten tickles

PHILOSOPHICAL WISDOM

 

Please don’t fret, because

Today is the tomorrow

We worried about yesterday

And all is well as you know

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 161

 

Boys and girls come out to play,

The moon does shine as bright as day;

They come with a rug and a packet of three

They come prepared to play carnally