CEPHALOPODS

 

I just couldn’t make the octopus laugh

I thought he was either stupid or fickle

But no, you just need to know the secret

So, to make him laugh takes ten tickles

PHILOSOPHICAL WISDOM

 

Please don’t fret, because

Today is the tomorrow

We worried about yesterday

And all is well as you know

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 161

 

Boys and girls come out to play,

The moon does shine as bright as day;

They come with a rug and a packet of three

They come prepared to play carnally

ARE YOU WEARING A NURSE’S OUTFIT?

 

Are you wearing a nurse’s outfit?

Does it come with all the kit?

The starched apron and the hat

The black stockings and all that

Oh what a feast before my eyes

Come and feel my pulse rate rise

Only you can now tangibly

Cure this poor patient’s malady

I’M THINKING ABOUT TAKING A HOLIDAY # 1

 

I’m thinking about taking a holiday

But I don’t know where to go

However I may end up in Sane

How I get there, I don’t know

As they don't have an airport

You can be driven there though

LIKE A GAGGLE OF GEESE

 

Like a gaggle of geese

The hen party traversed

The gaudy Blackpool strip

From bar to bar

And club to club

The tarty group

In their shameless parade

The legless slappers

Ended the night

Even more undignified

Than they had begun it

“If that’s possible”

Sitting in the gutter

In their own piss and vomit

I REMEMBER LIKE YESTERDAY

 

I remember like yesterday

That cold and crispy morn

And just how proud I felt

On the day my son was born