When I was a boy
I saved my pennies
For a rainy day
I saved every cent,
My pocket money
Every Friday
The Money back
On the empties
A paper round
In the morning
And delivering
The Weekly Sport
On a Saturday evening
Cleaning Grandmas
windows
And Odd jobs
For the neighbours
Then on Saturday
morning
I’d take it all,
The Ten bob notes
And tanners,
Halfpennies
And threepenny bits
And pay it all in
To my Post Office
savings
I can remember a time
In the dim and distant
past
When you could boast
To your friends and
neighbours
That you were the
proud user
Of the British Gas
five star,
All singing all
dancing,
Central heating and boiler
cover
Which was akin to
saying
You had a Rolls Royce
Parked in your garage
Such was its superior
quality
Of course that was a world
away
In in different
century
Now having British Gas
homecare
Is the equivalent to
owning,
A 1983 Skoda
On the Mull of Kintyre
I stood atop the steep
cliffs
Looking out across the
sea
To the distant misty
shores
Of Antrim far away
Cry Baby Bunting
Daddy's gone a-hunting
Well that’s not really true
He’s gone to Tesco’s
with my sister Su
Are you wearing a scowl?
Or is it your
irritable bowel
No, it’s an irritable
scowl
Because I left my wet
towel
When I told mum
I had opened a theatre
I got a rather strange
Reaction from her
“Are you having me
on?”
She said to me
I said “you'll have to
audition
And then we’ll see”
Merseyside Police sealed the City Centre
As they didn’t want to
take a risk
As a suspicious object
was seen in a car
It turned out later to
be a tax disk
