Wednesday, 18 May 2022

THE PRICE OF BEAUTY PRODUCTS

 

The price of beauty products

Have gone through the roof

What a rip off they really are

Try waxing strips if you need proof

THE LOCAL AM-DRAM GROUP

 

The local Am-Dram group

Is presenting Hamlet presently

And sadly, I have been invited

To attend this particular tragedy

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

 

Why in every disagreement

From the first to the last

You don’t stay in the present

You rake up the past

I always fight fair

I nail my colours to the mast

Then your name-calling

Leaves me aghast

SALT ‘N’ PEPPER HEADED LADY FAIR

 

All I can do is stand and stare

At the salt ‘n’ peppered lady fair

The woman with the greying hair

Oh, beautiful lady standing there

With tresses of salt ‘n’ pepper hair

Please be the answer to my prayer

CALL CENTER MODE

 

One day Bimbette was having trouble

With her computer,

So she decided to try the call center

At a time that would suit her

 

"Hello how can I help you?"

The tech support guy asks

She replied, “I can’t get my computer

To do even the simplest tasks"

 

"Do you have any windows open?"

The tech support guy asks her

"Are you mad? Its mid December

And I’m calling from Alaska”

Tuesday, 17 May 2022

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 111

 

The Queen of Hearts she made some tarts all on a summer's day;

The Knave of Hearts he stole the tarts and took them clean away.

Which is just as well because the Queen of Hearts can’t bake

And if she’d served them to the King, he’d have burnt her at the stake

ARE YOU WEARING A CORSET?

 

Are you wearing a corset?

All whalebone and string

A beautiful thing to behold

A lustfully sexy thing

Pulling you in at the waist

And redistributing everything

A little discomfort for you

In the whalebone and string

But it’s a small price to pay

For the joy it will bring