Sunday, 24 April 2022

MY WIFE IS MAD YET

 

My wife is mad

Last night she snored so loud

That she woke herself up

Then she hit me

For snoring so bloody loud

That I woke her up

 

But to add insult onto injury

Which left me upset

I was the one who hadn’t

Even been to sleep yet

THE NEWS OF THE WORLD

 

The News of the World

Oh, the irony is sweet

The news of the screws

That tawdry scandal sheet

 

Hoisted on its own petard

Because of its crime

They have become their papers

Biggest scandal of all time

THE WIDOW’S MITE

 

The Vicar’s sermon

Frank and forthright

Raised the question

Of the widow’s mite

 

Quite unnecessary

In my humble view

Because in our parish

There are only two

And I know for a fact

That they both do

MY DEAR OLD MOTHER

 

My dear old mother

Recently passed away

But it came to my attention

Only the other day

That she was in fact killed

By a “Mrs A”

Saturday, 23 April 2022

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 87

 

The lion and the unicorn

Were fighting for the crown

The lion beat the unicorn

All around the town

The vicious ambitious lion

Beat the poor unicorn so cute

But with one final effort

The unicorn killed the great hairy brute

MARTI

 

A young lady called Marti

Is vivacious and hearty

And just a bit tarty

But great fun at a party

GERTY

 

A young lady called Gerty

Is perky and flirty

Divertingly perty

And just downright dirty