LOSING HER MIND

 

My wife of some fifty years

Is convinced her mind has finally gone

Which is hardly surprising

When she gives a piece of it to everyone

SACKED

 

I have been given the sack,

Let go, dismissed, terminated

And it was a misunderstanding

That has left me so deflated

 

I just simply didn’t realise

And here’s the bitter sting

That overlook and oversee

Didn’t mean the same thing

FALLEN FROM GRACE

 

When the Vicar and the fallen woman

Were discovered in embrace, I was shocked

Then afterwards the woman was denounced

And the amorous clergymen was defrocked

But I should say that the word on the ground

Is, we’d have liked it better the other way round

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 74

"Pussycat, pussycat, where have you been?

Have you been up to London to visit the Queen?"

“No I haven’t, didn’t you hear my meow?

I’ve been locked in the garage you silly cow” 

PUT DOWN # 42

 

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

If he should hesitate over your name

Then that’s your cue

Just say to him

"Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!"

PRETTY LITTLE JO

 

Pretty Little Jo

You confuse me so

You are prettily petite

With size three feet

You are funny and quirky

And infectiously perky

You act just like a girl

In your ribbons and curls

But pretty little Jo

What confuses me so

Is when you speak

Your voice is too deep

STUDY BUDDY

 

She was just my study buddy

She wasn’t anything to me

She just agreed to help me out

With physics and chemistry

 

She was just my study buddy

She wasn’t interesting to me

But I’m not sure how it happened

But now were doing biology