THE SPICE OF LIFE

 

In the great war my grandfather

Survived a mustard gas attack

On a peace march my father

Survived a pepper spray attack

On a rally my uncle had mace

Squirted right in his face

I suppose you could call my ancestors

Seasoned campaigners

GOOD HEALTH WARNING

 

In regard to the state of good health

The fact that you cannot deny

Good health is just the slowest speed

At which we will eventually die

ALPEN DANGER

 

My dear friend was pulled under

By a strong currant, and tragically

My dear friend was drowned

In his breakfast bowl of muesli

NHS CUT BACKS # 1

 

The NHS has plans to save money

As they are strapped for cash

The plans have got up the Allergists noses

And Dermatologists think them rash

WIFI WIFE

 

I call my wife my Wi-Fi,

You might wonder why

Well, she works at home usually

Or in the garden, truthfully

I have no physical connection to her

And at night the neighbour uses her

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 60

Hark, hark the dogs do bark

The chavs are coming to town

Some with piercings and some with tats

And one in a designer gown 

IN THE GAME OF LOVE

 

In the game of love, you know all the right moves

With Terpsichorean precision, purposeful and bold

You are mistress of passion, keeper of my heart

If they awarded medals for love you’d get the gold