21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 16

 

Jack asked Jill

Are you on the pill?

As I have no form of protection

Jill looked grim

Then said to him

Where he could stick his erection

HAPPY BIRTHDAY # 12

 

Congratulations and felicitations

But don’t drink too much at the celebration

Too much may cause you to tell your friends

Again and again that you love them

PUT DOWN # 15

 

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

If he says to you

“You’re more than a woman to me”

Just reply to him

“More than you know, my name’s Henry”

SLEEP ON IT

 

Last night I was sad

Last night I was mad

Last night I hated you

Last night I berated you

Last night I was crying

Last night I was dying

Last night I was unforgiving

Last night I was tired of living

 

This morning I’m glad

Glad for what we once had

This morning I have regret for you

This morning I want to forget you

This morning the tears I cried

Have long since dried

This morning I am forgiving

This morning I am for living

SODS LAW

 

Sods law has been proven

Without any doubt

For as the law was being written

The pen ran out

SNOOZE VILLE

 

I want to inhabit forever

That special place that dreams fill

That safe and cosy place

Beneath the duvet in Snooze Ville

 

Between wake and slumber

A place that fulfils wishes

Where lover’s hands are held

And lips deliver stolen kisses

 

A place where dreams come true

Where loved ones live forever

A place where all is forgiven

And success comes with any endeavour

 

Where you can embrace forbidden lovers

Sweet moments of utter bliss

Or be together again with first loves

With kisses and caresses to reminisce

 

I want to inhabit forever

That special place that Dreams fill

That safe and cosy place

Beneath the duvet in Snooze Ville

TROUBLE AT MILL

 

It’s an absolute calamity

I’ve never heard the like of it

I just heard on the news

Up north they are running out of grit

 

What will become of us?

When the north is finally bereft

It was the northern grit

That made this nation the best