There is a natural order in life
There are rules to be understood
For example, bearing children
There is a time limit on motherhood
The term “childbearing years”
Was coined for a very simple reason
So that everything in life
Can have its time and season
A Woman over fifty is ill equipped
To show a baby proper care
As she would put the baby down
And then forget where
For Valentine’s Day
My husband, so sweet
Bought handmade chocolates
For me as a treat
In a flower covered box
Came the delicious confection
But I am at a loss to answer
A most curious question
How can two pounds of chocs
So delicious on the lips
Manage in just one night
To put 5lbs on my hips
Going out
Saturday nights
Looking for birds
Looking for fights
Getting ratted
Getting pissed
Getting groped
Getting kissed
Getting angry
Getting miffed
Getting slapped
Getting biffed
Getting punched
Getting kicked
Getting gobby
Getting nicked
Getting queasy
Getting sick
Sleeping it off
Down the nick
This is what
Young lads do
It’s always been
It’s nothing new
Going out
On the weekend
Looking for fun
Going with friends
Getting ratted
Getting pissed
Getting groped
Getting kissed
Getting angry
Getting miffed
Getting slapped
Getting biffed
Getting punched
Getting kicked
Getting gobby
Getting nicked
Getting queasy
Getting sick
Sleeping it off
Down the nick
This is what
The laddettes do
I guess that that
Is equality for you
I haven’t felt myself lately
The symptoms seldom vary
Lethargy, listlessness and apathy
And if I stand up quick, I go dizzy
My son said as a matter of fact
He has to smoke two joints to feel like that
No need to park your car
Before withdrawing
your money
There is now a drive
through ATM
For people in a hurry
Mr ATM drives up to the cash machine
And before putting his card in
Winds down his window
Then types in his PIN
Enters the cash amount
required
Retrieves card, receipt and cash
Winds up his window
Then off he can dash
That’s simple enough I
think
They’ve made it as
easy as they can
The procedure isn’t
hard
Though clearly
designed for a man
Unfortunately, the
machines
Are not exclusively
for men
And that is the only
problem
With a drive through
ATM
Mrs ATM drives up to the cash machine
Stops then reverses the car
Then drives forward
once more
Because she backed up
too far
With the car window
now aligned
With that of the ATM
She applies the
parking brake
And is ready to begin
She grabs her handbag
And tips out
everything
Onto the passenger
seat
To find her card
holder thing
She tells her best
friend
She will call her back
later
Then hangs up the
phone
And finds her debit
card holder
She tries to insert
card
Then winds down her
window
She tries to insert
card
Then leans out through
the window
Because of the great
distance
Separating the two of
them
She opens the car door
So, she can reach the
ATM
She inserts her card
The machine makes a bleeping sound
She re-inserts her
card
The right way round
She rummages in her bag
To find her PIN
And finds her diary
That has the number
written in
At last she is ready
And she enters her PIN
Then she press’s
cancel
And enters the correct
PIN
She enters the cash
amount required
Retrieved her cash and
receipt
Then checked the state
of her hair
When sitting back in
her seat
She empties her
handbag again
And with her purse
located
She places the cash
inside
And the debit amount
is duly recorded
She checks her makeup
in the mirror
Then drives forward about a yard
Before reversing back to cash machine
Where she retrieves her card
She empties her handbag again
And locates the card
holder
Then places her card into it
And checks her hair in the mirror
She redials her friend
on her mobile
And gives the irate
male driver
A really dirty look
For impatiently waiting behind her
She pulls away from the ATM
Stops and restarts the
stalled engine
Then drives for five miles
Before finally releasing the hand brake again
Scylla of Greek myth
Great monster of the
sea
Terror of the seas
A fearful monster
The scourge of sailors
Believed in later times,
Scylla was thought
To be a rock in the
Straits of Messina
I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
Some are funny
Some have flair
For example
Astronomer = moon
starer
