If the royal family
Want
respect from society
And to
keep their number
Free from
notoriety
It might
have helped
Saturday, 8 January 2022
ROYAL NAMES
Friday, 7 January 2022
SEX TOY UPGRADE
In this modern age
It is
certainly possible
For you to
increase
Sexual
arousal
With the
use of mechanical devices
In
particular
They work
on women
One of
these is a sports car
However,
these devices
Don’t
always work on a man
If he is
inclined
To spend
all the time, he can
Tinkering
with the cars parts
Rather
than the woman
RIGHT ON MAN
I am a white male
Anglo Saxon fifty something
Able-bodied heterosexual
And as a result in modern Britain
I have no rights whatever
BREATHLESS
My elderly maiden aunt
Suffers terribly from
asthma
And yesterday she was
phoned
By a heavy breather
After an hour it was
unclear
Who was the original
caller
WHEN I’M SIXTY FOUR
When I’m sixty four
And your back goes out
more than you do
I will still love you
When I’m sixty four
And your ears are
hairier than your head
I will still share
your bed
When I’m sixty four
And you and your teeth
no longer sleep together
I will still be your
lover
A QUESTION OF HEALTH
If you stopped taking exercise
When you got your
first TV remote
And you haven’t eaten
lettuce
Since Maggie Thatcher
got the vote
If you haven’t seen
your feet
Since you were at primary
school
And you think that a
microwave
Is actually a power
tool
If you think that
alcohol
Is itself a food group
And you eat more
crispy croutons
Than you do low
calorie soup
If you answered yes
To any part of this
questionnaire
Then someone is reading
this
Too you in intensive
care
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