Thursday, 7 October 2021

Uncanny Tales – (51) Room Service

 

He ordered room service, from the special menu, the connoisseur’s selection, and when she arrived she walked into his room and stood before him on six-inch stiletto heels as she slipped off her long black leather coat, revealing just her underwear, a black silk teddy, fitting her lithesome figure like a shimmering sheath, a garter belt about her waist which held up sheer black stockings of the finest quality, lace trimmed at the thigh.

Standing before him dressed all in black, the tantalising taut lines betraying her nakedness beneath the silk and his eyes greedily consumed her filthy allure which filled his head with vivid and impure thoughts, but then that was what he ordered.

He was instantly aroused and wanted her there and then but she knew how to tantalise and tease, so instead of surrendering herself immediately to his lust, she knelt before him with his eyes full of naked want and pleasured him, heightening his arousal and maximising the experience, so when she granted him his wish it would in turn satisfy her own hunger.

THE SAILOR COULDN’T PLAY CARDS

 

The sailor couldn’t play cards

On the voyage back

And that was because he

Was sitting on the deck

THE SECURITY SERVICES

 

The security services

Employ cannibal interrogators

Specifically, so they can

Grill any of the perpetrators

APPARENTLY IN DAYS OF YORE

 

Apparently in days of yore,

Evidence has come to light,

That dragon’s slept in the day

So they could fight knights

DIFFICULT TO SAY HOW

 

Difficult to say how

She earns a living, for

She sells sea shells

On the sea shore

THE THEFT OF A WHOLE SHOP

 

The theft of a whole shop in Regents

Street was caught on CCTV

But police are appealing for anyone

Who saw people taking Liberty's

I HAVE A NUMBER OF CATS

 

I have a number of cats, but one

Is a mischievous kitten

Who swallowed a ball of wool

As a result, she had Mittens