A young snake had been playing in the neighbour’s
Garden, but returned home in floods of tears
The Mother asked “What on earth is the matter?
Tell me what happened to reduce you to tears”
“They won't let me hiss in their pit, they said I
Wasn’t good enough because I’m small and thin”
Mum said “Don't let them upset you Darling,
I knew them when they didn't have a pit to hiss in”
I saw her standing on the terrace, in the
sun, looking out into the distance, so I walked up behind her and lightly
stroked the back of her arm.
“Are you ok honey?” I asked
“No not really” she replied, and the tears
welled up in her eyes as she turned towards me, so I took her in my arms, and
she dissolved completely into tears.
“It’s ok honey” I whispered, “let it all go”
And as she sobbed uncontrollably into my
chest, I kissed the top of her head.
I held her close and stroked her back until
she lifted her head and said
“I’m getting you shirt wet”
“I don’t care” I replied and she broke down
again which was when, to my eternal shame, I became aroused, I would like to
say in my defense that I was holding in my arms a very beautiful woman, and a
woman I had not only lusted after for more than five years but had been in love
with for four of those years.
What I can’t offer any excuse for was what I
was thinking as she sobbed her heart out and I consoled her with my empty
words, I was trying to imagine what she was wearing under her mourning clothes
and my arousal was reaching epic proportions as I considered all the various
options and I was so close to tipping my barrow.
I don’t know what would have happened had her
mother not come along when she did.
Her mum took her back inside to grieve more
privately but I remained on the terrace for a few minutes due to an inability
to walk.
The inability wasn’t aided in any way by the
fact that I still continued to think long and hard about the infinite
possibilities of what she might be wearing beneath her widow’s weeds.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
Followed by an average winter
Then he had an indifferent spring
Leading to the most glorious summer
Chinese Gooseberries aren’t Chinese
Imagine my shock at being misled
They do not originate from China at all
An important element of
The Canine establishment
Is the Dog Constabulary
Known as Paw enforcement
She was allergic to flowers
I wish she had said
Because I bought her roses
And now she’s dead
We will go to Switzerland
With our Dog from Alsace
When the time comes, and
Go to the clinic, Dognitas
