FRED ASTAIRE WAS BELIEVED TO BE

 

Fred Astaire was believed to be

The greatest Dancer in his field

But Ginger Rodgers did the same

Only backwards and in heels

MY IPHONE IS FROZEN

 

My iPhone is frozen

My Mac is deceased

My iPad misplaced

And my iPod is dead 

In fact all my Apple’s

Have gone pear shaped

GLOB IS AN ACRONYM

 

GLOB is an acronym

Which may sound absurd

But not when you have found

A Good Looking Old Bird

I WAS IN A FASHIONABLE COCKTAIL BAR

 

I was in a fashionable cocktail bar

And my mind began to wander

To of all things, strippers' names

So I ordered a Brandy Alexander

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 402

 

Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John

Went to bed with his trousers on

One shoe off, and one shoe on

His was as pissed as a fart, my son John!

HAND HOLDING

 

I always hold my wife’s hand when we’re out

People thinks it’s so romantic, but its not

I hold her hand all the time because I know

That if I let it go she’ll start to shop

SWING

I’m in the motor trade and I’ll try anything once

So I went to one of those swingers parties 

I took the wife along and she was well keen

She’s a good looker when she’s dressed up tarty

 

But after I dropped my car keys in the bowl

I realised that I had really dropped a clanger

As I’d arrived at the party with the latest model

But I went home with an old banger