JEZZA CAME CLOSE AT THE LAST ELECTION

 

Jezza came close at the last election

There’s certainly no doubt about that

But that was then, but now he’s gone

From Corbyn to Hasbyn in no time flat

ON THE JOURNEY THROUGH MARRIAGE

On the journey through marriage

There is inevitably a little strife

But I would say as a general rule

“A happy wife means a happy life”

I USED TO HAVE A TINY LIZARD

 

I used to have a tiny Lizard

He was really small and cute

I used to call him Tiny,

Because he was “my newt”

I RAN THE CAKE STALL AT THE VILLAGE FETE

 

I ran the Cake stall at the Village Fete

Charging 50 pence per bake

Well, that’s not exactly true

I charged more for “Madeira cake”

WHEN MECHANICAL PROBLEMS OCCUR

 

When mechanical problems occur,

Preferring to be on the ground

Wishing you were in the air

Is a philosophy that’s sound,

Compared to being in the air

Wishing you were on the ground

MY SON ASKED WHY I SPOKE SO QUIETLY

 

My son asked why I spoke so quietly

While at home and I responded brightly

That China were listening, and he laughed,

So, I laughed, and then our devices laughed

I FORGOT TO GET BUNS ON THE SHOPPING

 

I forgot to get buns on the shopping

And when I got home my wife had a fit

But she soon calmed down as there’s

No need to get Hot and Cross about it