MALADY’S

 

As your children grow older the problems

Change but don’t seem to go away at all

Instead of them being sick because of a bug

They are sick because of too much alcohol

COMMUNICATION

 

The three best forms

Of global communication

Are, television, telephone

And tell a woman

DAGENHAM DIRT BAGS # 2

 

Bimbette, Peaches and Soiree

Three slappers from Essex way

The dogs out on the common

Taking their pets for a play

WHEN I LOOK

 

When I look at Dawny

I get really horny

When I look at Candy

I get really randy

When I look at Sue

My loins go ooh

When I look at Sharon

I get the biggest hard on

When I look at Sarah

I just want to have her

When I look at Clair

I picture her bare

When I look at Tina

I couldn’t be any keener

When I look at Suzie

My head goes woozy

When I look at Nicki

I get a little sticky

When I look at Steffi

I get a little stiffy

When I look at Brenda

I have my own agenda

When my wife sees me look

I’m in her bad book

FLOCKS AND FLARES

 

Clocks and chairs

Locks and hairs

Fox and lairs

Gloks and spears

Socks and flares

Docks and wares

Lox and pears

Knocks and tares

Shocks and scares

Stocks and shares

A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE

 

I think on balance its better

To have a horrible end

Than it is to have

Horrors without end

WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY (12)

Who’s that girl?

What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

When my baby smiles at me

Where the heart is

Why baby