THE CARPENTERS

 

My wife said to me

Let’s play carpenter’s

So, we got hammered

Then I nailed her

I’M THINKING ABOUT TAKING A HOLIDAY # 3

 

I’m thinking about taking a holiday

But I don’t know where to go

I will probably be in Doubt

It’s not for frequent flyers though

Its destination I’m unsure of

In fact I’m not sure I want to go

WHATS IN A NAME (43)

 

What do you think can Ben Gunn?

Did anyone notice is David Dunn?

Did anyone notice was Sean Kerley?

Does anyone know was George Burley?

ARE YOU WEARING A KNITTED SWIMSUIT?

 

Are you wearing a knitted swimsuit?

Well I know there’s a recession on

But I’m afraid knitted swimwear

Isn’t at all the right thing to don

 

Because one of two things will happen

The weight of wool will pull them down

Or when you are swimming the weight

Will pull you under and you’ll drown

RED HAT

 

She was a stunner

In her new red hat

And it turned a few heads

Have no doubt of that

 

She was not dressed

As someone one ignores

But everyone was thinking

“Red hat no drawers”

HE CERTAINLY WASN’T MUCH OF A POLICEMAN # 2

 

He certainly wasn’t much of a policeman

Of that most people would concur

His colleagues called him the Gurkha

Because he never took a prisoner

EVERYONE WANTS TO BE THE STAR

 

Everyone wants to be the star

Of their own life story

But life isn’t like a movie

You don’t get the chance

To re-take the scenes you mess up

And it isn’t like a play

That can be painstakingly rehearsed

You have to go on cold

You may dry up or miss your cue

Or fluff your lines

You may need prompting

You will probably have to improvise

But it’s up to you how the drama unfolds

And whether you are hero or villain