I GOT CAUGHT TAKING A PISS

 

I got caught taking a piss

In the local swimming pool

The lifeguard shouted so loud,

I nearly fell in. the bloody fool

MY DOCTOR SAID I’M BORDERLINE OBESE

 

My doctor said I’m borderline obese

But it didn’t bother me at all

Because at the end of the day

That makes me borderline Normal

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALANCE (1962)

 

“The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance” is a western drama, based on the story by Dorothy M. Johnson and Directed by John Ford.

While Senator Ransom Stoddard (James Stewart) returns home to Shinbone for the funeral of Tom Doniphon (John Wayne), he tells the story behind his sojourn to a local newspaper editor, about how he had arrives in the town many years before, as a young lawyer, and how he first met local outlaw Liberty Valance (Lee Marvin) when the stage he was on was robbed.

After the holdup Stoddard was left with nothing more than a few law books to his name so he had to get a job in the kitchen at the Ericson's restaurant and there he met his future wife, Hallie (Vera Miles) but he has both a friend and a love rival in Tom Doniphon.

All this is against the backdrop of the territory vying for Statehood.

Eventually Stoddard is selected by the townspeople as a representative, with his main rival being Valance, who does not take defeat well and terrorizes the town, but when he destroys the local newspaper office and attacks the editor, Stoddard calls him out, though the conclusion is not quite as straightforward as legend would have it.

Other notable cast members in this classic western are Edmond O'Brien, Andy Devine, Ken Murray, John Carradine and Jeanette Nolan.

WHATS IN A NAME (39)

 

Does anyone know does James Bridle?

I often wonder is Eric Idle?

Would anyone know did Michael Ley?

You never know Brian May?

ARE YOU WEARING AN UNDERSKIRT?

 

Are you wearing an underskirt?

I can see it beneath your hem

Oh, its imported silk is it?

Oh yes of course I like them

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 297

 

Kind hearts are gardens, 

Kind thoughts are roots,

Kind words are blossoms,

Kind deeds are fruits.

But none of this rubbish

Gets the bloody grass cut

I’M A CRUMPET MAN

 

I’m a crumpet man

I don’t mind confessin’

But equally I like

Buns, baps and muffin