A VOYAGE ROUND MY FATHER (1)

 

My dad told me

“Susan’s going to America

To the largest state in the union”

I replied to him “Alaska?”

He thought for a moment then said

“No its alright I’ll ask her”

BASILDON BLONDE

 

A dizzy blonde

A little bit simple

A fun filled package

All tits and dimples

Smelling of chips,

Booze and fags

A good time girl

Looking for a shag

DRIVERS (1)

 

Drivers

Road fund license

Over payment for cars

Overpay again for the petrol

Drivers

WHO NEEDS THEM

 

Friends may come

And friends may go

But enemies

Just accumulate so

IT’S NOT MY AISLE

 

I went to the DIY Centre the other day

Not as good as the Old hardware shop

I was looking for some super glue

Having searched in vain I decided to stop

I asked a young lad if he could help

But in truth he wasn’t much cop

A callow youth, gormless and spotty

And still waiting for his balls to drop

I SURRENDER

 

In the battle of the sexes

No one will achieve supremacy

There is just too much

Fraternizing with the enemy

SENIOR REPORT

 

All reports are in

I have to declare

It’s now confirmed

Life is officially unfair