TESTING

 

I awake to hear

The tell-tale clink

Of a Pyrex jug

Hitting the bathroom sink

The tell-tale sound

Of Pyrex on porcelain

Means only one thing

She’s pregnant again

RHYME AND PUNISHMENT

 

I like to write an ode or rhyme

It’s a fun way to pass the time

After many years of composition

I have come to this conclusion

The hardest part of the whole process

And the least enjoyable I must confess

Unless of course you pay a mint

Is to get the bloody stuff in print

ACCIDENTS HAPPEN

 

Kids messing about in the backs of cars

Can sometimes cause accidents to happen

While accidents in the backs of cars

Almost always cause kids to happen

FADS

 

New music bands

Come onto the scene

With monotonous regularity

Each new crop

Compensating for lack of talent

Choose the names bizarrely

This has always

Been accepted

And just adds to the monotony

Names like

The nit nurses and vaginal bleed

Just humour them accordingly

REWRITING HISTORY ONE FACT AT A TIME # 1

 

If there is one thing that irritates me more than any other, it has to be historical inaccuracies in film and TV scripts.

Now I’m not talking about things like Braveheart or The Battle of the Bulge or countless other attempts’ by the Americans to rewrite history.

No, the things that irritate me are the little things, the small easy to verify things, the things that they just can’t be bothered to do right.

 

For example, there was an American sci-fi series in the 90’s called “Babylon 5” which I much enjoyed, and if truth be told I liked it more than the Star Trek equivalent of “Deep Space 9”.

However, in one episode, “Comes The Inquisitor”, there was a character called Sebastian, who it transpired as the story unfolded was in reality Jack the Ripper.

When his true identity came to light during the story it was announced that in the late 1800’s Jack the Ripper plagued London’s West End.

No! No! No! Jack the Ripper did not stalk the theatre district he was too busy amusing himself killing prostitutes in the East End.

It was a simple mistake that just shouldn’t have happened, but it did and there really is no excuse for it this day and age when research is such a simple matter.

I find it difficult to comprehend that such a basic error made it to the airing.

Surely one of the writing team or production staff or even one of the cast would have asked “Are you sure it was the West End?” but apparently not.

 

Last Christmas my wife bought me the boxed set and when we were watching the relevant episode, we both braced ourselves for the fateful moment and then laughed when we discovered it had been rather amateurishly dubbed.     

DREAM EXISTENCE

 

We stumble through this life

Enduring disappointments

Unhappiness or misery

And our only defense against life

Are our dreams

Dreams of infinite possibilities

Happiness, joy

Being fulfilled

Having the perfect partner

The perfect family

The perfect life

But what if

Life is itself just a dream

And our dreams

Glimpses of our own realities

WHATS IN A NAME (15)

 Does anyone know was Phil Cool?

Does anyone know did Gordon Rule?

Does anyone know is Barry White?

Did anyone think was Steve Wright?