SAD TO BE DAD

 

I’m not good today I’m feeling very sad

Because I’ve just turned into my old dad

Don’t try to be kind by saying that I ain’t

As I now have a stick just for stirring paint

THE REAL TRUMPTON

 

There is to be yet another reality show

Including many celebrities, we all know

With for example Bishop Desmond TuTu

Reg Varney and the myopic Mister Magoo

Little Ronnie Corbett and Dibble the copper

Keeper Bruce Grobelaar the shot stopper

The show will take place in a fire station

With a huge audience across the nation

It’s to be called Trumpton its been decided

And more names will no doubt be included

So I must recap the names, which is my job

Tutu Varney Magoo Corbett Dibble and Grob

WAIT MATE

 

The only things that come

To those who wait

Are things left by those

Who got there first mate

BEFORE

 

Before I met my husband

I’d never been in love

Although on reflection

I'd stepped in it on occasion

WISE TOM

Knowledge is to know

That the common tomato

Is actually a fruit

And that’s quite astute

While wisdom is however

Using knowledge to be clever

And not you will be glad

Putting Tom’s in a fruit salad

FAKING IT

My husband gave me a necklace today

It's fake but I requested fake so that’s ok

Maybe I'm paranoid, but what the heck 

I don't want something around my neck

In this day and age when all done and said

That’s actually worth more than my head

UPPING

 

Despite almost constant warning

I bet from times early dawning

That no man has ever met anyone

Who’s had an arm broken by a swan