ON HER CHARIOT DRAWN BY GRIFFINS

 

On her chariot drawn by griffins

The maiden goddess, dispensing justice

With rod, scales, sword and scourge

The avenger of crime, Nemesis

A SCANDAL HAS BROKEN

 

A scandal has broken

Of the very worst kind

It’s totally unforgivable

To my way of mind

That fraud Pudsey Bear

Isn’t really blind

ON THEIR OBESECYCLE

On their obesecycle

They have to scurry

Not that the obese

Are able to hurry

 

They can still walk

Though they don’t bovver

And they are so fat

That they appear to hover 

 

THE CARROT CAKE

 

The Carrot cake

I have to say

You can include

As one of your five a day

WHEN MY GRAN GOT OUT OF BED # 3

 

When my Gran got out of bed

After bedding one of her chaps

She felt pains down below

Coz she was standing on her flaps

RESTLESS NIGHT

 

In error I booked in to a cheap hotel

Frequented by very odd clientele

You could tell that it wasn’t great

The room even had an hourly rate

I had not expected a peaceful night

Within an hour I was proven right

Through paper-thin walls it comes

A steady rhythm like beating drums

The rhythm growing more intensely

Then passions are expressed vocally

Then came the squeaking of springs 

An almost orchestral feel it brings

Grunts and groans they both express

Then in soprano she adds yes, oh yes,

Then the crescendo and then no more

Well for ten minutes until the encore

Later I wished after due consideration

That he’d not asked the same question