THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING

 

The day after Thanksgiving

Is known as “Black Friday”

Because it matches the mood

Of unhappy shoppers that day

 

ARE YOU WEARING A PARTY HAT?

 

Are you wearing a party hat?

As it’s a Thanksgiving hat

And the family is all together

I will give thanks for that

THANKSGIVING DAY TURKEY

 

Bimbette was preparing

For Thanksgiving Day

One hour per pound

So the instructions say

“One hundred and ten

Pound’s is what I weigh”

Bimbette said and put

The Turkey on a baking tray

And roasted the bird

For almost five days

DURING THE THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY

 

During the thanksgiving holiday

From coast to coast

What do you call a stuffed animal?

We call it a turkey roast

MY FAMILY ALL TOLD ME TO STOP

 

My family all told me to stop

Telling Thanksgiving jokes,

But I had to say no, as I wasn’t

One of those “cold turkey” blokes

HAPPY TURKEY DAY

 

When we have Thanksgiving Dinner

And were all seated at the table

The first thing I do is name the Turkey

And make everyone uncomfortable

GIVE THANKS FOR SOMETHING

 

My Great Aunts cooking was so bad

When we used to eat in her parlour

My Dad told us that Thanksgiving

Was to commemorate Pearl Harbour

SURELY THERE SHOULD BE A LAW

 

Surely there should be a law

To punish those who play

Christmas music, two months

Before Thanksgiving Day

THERE IS A SPECIAL PLACE

There is a special place

In hell for people that play

Any Christmas music

Before Thanksgiving Day 

A Little Bit Of Humour # 109

WHINGING BRITS ABROAD # 12

The beach was right outside the hotel
Which I suppose was alright
But is wasn’t much like the brochure
The sand was yellow not white

WINKS IS AN ACRONYM

WINKS is an acronym for
"Women with Incomes and
No Kids" plenty of money
But no ring on their hand

I HAD A TERRIBLE NIGHT’S SLEEP

I had a terrible night’s sleep
So I went to see Miss Alconbury
About a Chemistry question
But apparently we don’t have any

SHE ONLY COME TO ME WITH A PROBLEM

She only come to me with a problem
When she wants my help solving it
But if she’s looking for sympathy
Then she knows that I’m not fit
So her girlfriends must fill that need
Because I’m an unsympathetic git

MORNGY THURSDAY

At a soup kitchen, they ran out of food
Due to a basic error in their sums
And tempers flared among the homeless
In fact there were a lot of hot cross bums

ARE YOU WEARING A TURKEY SUIT?

Are you wearing a turkey suit?
I really love holiday pranks
But you look like a total arse
And for that I give thanks

THANKSGIVING DAY TURKEY

Bimbette was preparing
For Thanksgiving Day
One hour per pound
So the instructions say
“One hundred and ten
Pound’s is what I weigh”
Bimbette said and put
The Turkey on a baking tray
And roasted the bird
For almost five days

DETECTIVE FOGHORN LEGHORN

Detective Foghorn Leghorn
Was called to a crime scene today
To investigate the death
Of a Turkey, he suspects fowl play

DURING THE THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY

During the thanksgiving holiday
From coast to coast
What do you call a stuffed animal?
We call it a turkey roast

THERE IS A SPECIAL PLACE

There is a special place
In hell for people that play
Any Christmas music
Before Thanksgiving Day

IF AS THEY SAY, MARRIAGE IS A WAR

If as they say, Marriage is a war
Then it’s the only war as far as I can see
Where, as one of the protagonists
You get to sleep with the enemy

IF I HAVE A FIGHT WIFE MY WIFE

If I have a fight wife my wife, I think
“Don't take your troubles to bed”,
So I follow the advice to the letter
And sleep with someone else instead

Thanksgiving Gags

Thanksgiving Gags
WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 2

Why did the turkey cross the road?
There was a very simple reason
It was due to a lack of options for a Turkey
During the Thanksgiving season

WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 3

Why did the turkey cross the road?
Well contrary to the fable
It was to avoid ending up
On the Thanksgiving table

IF ONLY YOUR LEFT LEG WAS THANKSGIVING

If only your left leg was Thanksgiving
And your right leg was Christmas day
Then I could devote all of my time
To visiting you between the holidays

AT THANKSGIVING TIME

At thanksgiving time
Turkeys, will like as not
Do the thanksgiving dance
Known as the turkey trot