WHINGING BRITS ABROAD # 12
The beach was right outside the hotel
Which I suppose was alright
But is wasn’t much like the brochure
The sand was yellow not white
WINKS IS AN ACRONYM
WINKS is an acronym for
"Women with Incomes and
No Kids" plenty of money
But no ring on their hand
I HAD A TERRIBLE NIGHT’S SLEEP
I had a terrible night’s sleep
So I went to see Miss Alconbury
About a Chemistry question
But apparently we don’t have any
SHE ONLY COME TO ME WITH A PROBLEM
She only come to me with a problem
When she wants my help solving it
But if she’s looking for sympathy
Then she knows that I’m not fit
So her girlfriends must fill that need
Because I’m an unsympathetic git
MORNGY THURSDAY
At a soup kitchen, they ran out of food
Due to a basic error in their sums
And tempers flared among the homeless
In fact there were a lot of hot cross bums
ARE YOU WEARING A TURKEY SUIT?
Are you wearing a turkey suit?
I really love holiday pranks
But you look like a total arse
And for that I give thanks
THANKSGIVING DAY TURKEY
Bimbette was preparing
For Thanksgiving Day
One hour per pound
So the instructions say
“One hundred and ten
Pound’s is what I weigh”
Bimbette said and put
The Turkey on a baking tray
And roasted the bird
For almost five days
DETECTIVE FOGHORN LEGHORN
Detective Foghorn Leghorn
Was called to a crime scene today
To investigate the death
Of a Turkey, he suspects fowl play
DURING THE THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY
During the thanksgiving holiday
From coast to coast
What do you call a stuffed animal?
We call it a turkey roast
THERE IS A SPECIAL PLACE
There is a special place
In hell for people that play
Any Christmas music
Before Thanksgiving Day
IF AS THEY SAY, MARRIAGE IS A WAR
If as they say, Marriage is a war
Then it’s the only war as far as I can see
Where, as one of the protagonists
You get to sleep with the enemy
IF I HAVE A FIGHT WIFE MY WIFE
If I have a fight wife my wife, I think
“Don't take your troubles to bed”,
So I follow the advice to the letter
And sleep with someone else instead
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