NICKANAN NIGHT

 

Nickanan Night or Shrove Monday evening

Was a time for boys to commit petty crime

Now we don’t have it on one special night

Instead now it appears to happen all the time

COLLOP MONDAY

 

The third day of Shrovetide

Once known as Collop Monday

Named after Collops of bacon

A traditional dish of the day

Which was served with eggs

It’s the forgotten Shrove Monday

I HAVE GIVEN UP SEX FOR LENT # 1

 

I have given up sex for Lent

Which should not disconcert

As I haven’t done it for six years

So another month won’t hurt

I HAVE GIVEN UP SEX FOR LENT # 2

 

I have given up sex for Lent

Which is to some small extent

An empty gesture on my part

As I had to as I have a bad heart

I HAVE GIVEN UP SEX FOR LENT # 3

 

I have given up sex for Lent

Which is to some small extent

An empty gesture on my part

As to stop I’d first need to start

IT’S LENT ONCE AGAIN

 

It’s Lent once again

That time of year

To de-clutter, A time

To tidy and clear

But it’s not the time

To tidy the garden shed

The garage or the loft

Or even under the bed

Lent is the time when

Spring cleaning begins

When we cleanse our souls

And wash away our sins

ASH WEDNESDAY FIRST DAY OF LENT

 

The palm branches blessed on Palm Sunday,

Are the following year, burnt and blessed again

And placed on the heads of the participants

To the accompaniment of the familiar refrain

“Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return”

And the Lenten season has begun once again

LENT

 

This time of year is significant

For what Lent represents

But I have racked my brains

And don’t know what to give up for lent

I really don’t know what to give up

I don’t have a sweet tooth

And I neither smoke nor drink

No vices at all and that’s the truth

So despite its significance

For what Lent represents

I have come to the conclusion

It’s easier just to give up lent

I HAVE GIVEN UP FOR LENT

 

I have given up for lent

Pate de fois gras

Lobster thermadore

And Beluga caviar

Well in a way

I’ve never had them ever

But I won’t have them

Between now and Easter

IT’S LENT ONCE MORE

 

It’s Lent once more

A time to cleanse the soul

Empty the trash

And let Christ keep us whole

 

Clear the spam

Empty the buffers of sin

Deny yourself

And let the lord back in

 

It’s Lent once more

Pray to your saviour for peace

Cleanse your soul

Then your penance can cease

PANCAKE DAY

 

For the world at large Shrove Tuesday

Precedes Ash Wednesday

For my unfortunate family stove Tuesday

Precedes trash Wednesday

I THOUGHT I’D TRY TOSSING A PANCAKE

 

I thought I would try tossing a pancake

Well, that turned out to be a big mistake

The first three didn’t leave the pan at all

The next two were sliding down the wall

The only one dispatched with any grace

Then splashed hot fat right in my face

TOSSING THE PANCAKE

 

Tossing the pancake

How hard could it be?

Well quite difficult

Which surprised me

What an awful mess

After the first three

I gave up after four

That landed on me

TOSSING A PANCAKE

 

Tossing a pancake

I can do that

Just get a fry pan

Heat up the fat

Mix up the batter

As easy as that

One on the ceiling

One on the cat

One on the door

One on the mat

One on my head

Like a sweet sticky hat

Shrovetide

SHROVETIDE

Shrovetide begins on Egg Saturday
Heralding the coming of lent
And deciding what to give up
Is normally the way it is spent

EGG SATURDAY

The first day of Shrovetide
Is Shrove or Egg Saturday
An Oxfordshire tradition
Sometimes called egg feast day

QUINQUAGESIMA SUNDAY

The second day of Shrovetide
Shrove Sunday or Quinquagesima
Celebrated in the Christian church
As the fiftieth day before Easter

COLLOP MONDAY

The third day of Shrovetide
Once known as Collop Monday
Named after Collops of bacon
A traditional dish of the day
Which was served with eggs
It’s the forgotten Shrove Monday

NICKANAN NIGHT

Nickanan Night or Shrove Monday evening
Was a time for boys to commit petty crime
Now we don’t have it on one special night
Instead now it appears to happen all the time

THE PANCAKE DAY RACE

The Pancake Day race was a popular event
And was held amidst much happy hoorays
Until the runners became too competitive
And behaved like parents on sports days

ASH WEDNESDAY

There is a religious reason
Why it is a significant day
But cremated pancake on the hob
Is the only ash around our way

WHAT DO YOU CALL THE DAY?

What do you call the day?
That comes after Ash Wednesday
And before kissing Friday
Well we just call it Thursday

KISSING FRIDAY

The tradition of kissing Friday
Was called Nippy Hug Day
When Leicestershire men
Could demand on that day
A kiss from any woman
Of his choice by custom
And if she was to refuse
He could then pinch her bum
But since world war two
Kissing Friday doesn’t apply
It has fallen from favour
I can’t understand why