IF YOU ARE A LOVER OF PUNS

 

If you are a lover of puns

Then on shrove Tuesday

There is only one conclusion

And that that its pun-cake day

IS IT PANCAKE DAY ALREADY?

 

Is it Pancake Day

Already? Oh dear

It’s really crêped up

On me this year

THE ORIGINS OF FAT TUESDAY

 

The origins of Fat Tuesday

Are Anglican and Catholic

But in our town Fat Tuesday

Is an overweight biker chic

THERE IS A VERY DISTINCT DIFFERENCE

 

There is a very distinct difference

Between Mardi Gras and Fat Tuesday

The former is an all-night party and

You wake up with the latter the next day

PANCAKE DAY

 

For the world at large Shrove Tuesday

Precedes Ash Wednesday

For my unfortunate family stove Tuesday

Precedes trash Wednesday

I THOUGHT I’D TRY TOSSING A PANCAKE

 

I thought I would try tossing a pancake

Well, that turned out to be a big mistake

The first three didn’t leave the pan at all

The next two were sliding down the wall

The only one dispatched with any grace

Then splashed hot fat right in my face

TOSSING THE PANCAKE

 

Tossing the pancake

How hard could it be?

Well quite difficult

Which surprised me

What an awful mess

After the first three

I gave up after four

That landed on me

TOSSING A PANCAKE

 

Tossing a pancake

I can do that

Just get a fry pan

Heat up the fat

Mix up the batter

As easy as that

One on the ceiling

One on the cat

One on the door

One on the mat

One on my head

Like a sweet sticky hat

Shrovetide

SHROVETIDE

Shrovetide begins on Egg Saturday
Heralding the coming of lent
And deciding what to give up
Is normally the way it is spent

EGG SATURDAY

The first day of Shrovetide
Is Shrove or Egg Saturday
An Oxfordshire tradition
Sometimes called egg feast day

QUINQUAGESIMA SUNDAY

The second day of Shrovetide
Shrove Sunday or Quinquagesima
Celebrated in the Christian church
As the fiftieth day before Easter

COLLOP MONDAY

The third day of Shrovetide
Once known as Collop Monday
Named after Collops of bacon
A traditional dish of the day
Which was served with eggs
It’s the forgotten Shrove Monday

NICKANAN NIGHT

Nickanan Night or Shrove Monday evening
Was a time for boys to commit petty crime
Now we don’t have it on one special night
Instead now it appears to happen all the time

THE PANCAKE DAY RACE

The Pancake Day race was a popular event
And was held amidst much happy hoorays
Until the runners became too competitive
And behaved like parents on sports days

ASH WEDNESDAY

There is a religious reason
Why it is a significant day
But cremated pancake on the hob
Is the only ash around our way

WHAT DO YOU CALL THE DAY?

What do you call the day?
That comes after Ash Wednesday
And before kissing Friday
Well we just call it Thursday

KISSING FRIDAY

The tradition of kissing Friday
Was called Nippy Hug Day
When Leicestershire men
Could demand on that day
A kiss from any woman
Of his choice by custom
And if she was to refuse
He could then pinch her bum
But since world war two
Kissing Friday doesn’t apply
It has fallen from favour
I can’t understand why

Pancake Week

SHROVE TUESDAY

Since before the Christian era
Shrove Tuesday or Pancake Day
Was celebrated far and wide
And was originally a pagan holiday

Changing seasons was a struggle
Between Jarilo the God of brightness
Vegetation, fertility and springtime
And the evil spirits of cold and darkness

So they had to help the God Jarilo
And victory meant spring had begun
So they cooked and ate pancakes
Hot and round symbolizing the sun

ASH WEDNESDAY

Ashes are placed on the heads
Of worshipers on Ash Wednesday,
Either by being sprinkled or
More often the traditional way
By being marked as a visible cross
On their foreheads on the day

ASH WEDNESDAY FIRST DAY OF LENT

The palm branches blessed on Palm Sunday,
Are the following year, burnt and blessed again
And placed on the heads of the participants
To the accompaniment of the familiar refrain
"Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return”
And the Lenten season has begun once again

PANCAKE DAY

I LIKE TO TRY TOSSING THE PANCAKES

I like to try tossing the pancakes
But my inadequacy’s its revealing
And the results of my failed efforts
Look like I’ve Artexed the ceiling

IT’S PANCAKE DAY

Light the hob
Mix the batter
Then pour it in the pan
Cook one side
And toss it high
Then catch it if you can

THERE’S NOTHING LIKE A PANCAKE

There’s nothing like a pancake
With lemon curd spread on
And no greater disappointment
When it turns out to be Dijon

AT THE ANNUAL PANCAKE RACE

At the annual pancake race
The winner is always smug Trace
I’m always at the rear of the chase
Limping home in last place
Then I must congratulate Trace
And engage in a false embrace
When I really want to hear the base
Of the frying pan hitting her face

TOSSING THE PANCAKE

Tossing the pancake
How hard could it be?
Well quite difficult
Which surprised me
What an awful mess
After the first three
I gave up after four
That one landed on me

TOSSING A PANCAKE

Tossing a pancake
I can do that
Just get a fry pan
Heat up the fat
Mix up the batter
As easy as that

One on the ceiling
One on the cat
One on the door
One on the mat
One on my head
Like a sweet sticky hat

PANCAKE DAY

For the world at large shrove Tuesday
Precedes Ash Wednesday
For my unfortunate family stove Tuesday
Precedes trash Wednesday

I THOUGHT I’D TRY TOSSING A PANCAKE

I thought I would try tossing a pancake
Well that turned out to be a big mistake
The first three didn’t leave the pan at all
The next two were sliding down the wall
The only one dispatched with any grace
Then splashed hot fat right in my face

IT’S PANCAKE DAY AGAIN

Mix it, pour it
Cook it, toss it
And serve it

A little lemon
A little jam on
Eat it with aplomb