MILESTONE 60 # 6

Your body is showing signs of wear

But you're still young at heart

And you’re in good shape to be fair

It’s hard to tell that you’re an old fart

YOU ARE PASSED YOUR PRIME

 

You're not really old, though

You are passed your prime

But you’ve not been young

For a very, very long time

LIFE BEGINS AT 40 # 4

 

You've reached a milestone

A really significant age

You've joined the over 40's

You have turned a new page

So happy birthday darling

I hope you enjoy your surprise

Because now you’re forty

Your age matches your bust size

WELL YOU’VE REACHED AN AGE

 

Well, you’ve reached an age

So have a happy birthday

So now really spoil yourself

And take two naps today

THINK ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING

Think about global warming

When you look at your cake

Lighting all those candles

Would be a very big mistake

BIRTHDAY TELEGRAM

Bad news, Her Majesty isn't sending you

A telegram this year, but don’t despair

There is nothing to be concerned about

She's happy to know you're halfway there

LIFE BEGINS AT 40 # 3

 

You’re forty years old

Which is when, they say

Life begins for you

On that most special day

But if you drink too much

You will certainly pay

Because now you’re old

You’ll be hungover all day

MILESTONE 60 # 3

I know it’s a big one

But remember this please

Age really isn't important

Unless you are cheese 

I’M QUITE A PHILOSOPHICAL PERSON

 

I’m quite a philosophical person

So I don’t get phased and accept what life gives

So I think Birthdays are good for you;

Because the more you have the longer you live

I GOT A DUAL PURPOSE BIRTHDAY CARD

 

I got a dual purpose birthday card

The intention was well meant

For a person of your advancing years

With its very high fibre content

WHY IS IT WHEN TWO PEOPLE MARRY?

 

Why is it when two people marry?

It is predestined for him

To never remember birthdays

And for her to never forget them

THE BIG FIVE ZERO # 3

Happy fiftieth birthday

I’m sorry but it has to be said

If they were dog years

You’d already be dead

THERE ARE ONLY TWO OPTIONS

 

There are only two options

In my personal view

So, what do you want to do?

You can either continue

To get older or you can die

So, stop feeling sorry for yourself

And enjoy your birthday do

I'VE NEVER REALLY DOUBTED YOUR AGE

 

I've never really doubted your age

But don’t think of it as old age

You were just born ahead of your time!

Way, way, way ahead of your time

LIFE BEGINS AT 40 # 2

Don’t be scared of being Forty

Meet the milestone with defiance

You’re no really forty, but eighteen

With twenty-two years of experience!

THE BIG FIVE ZERO # 2

 

At the age of fifty you're officially

Over the hill, but worse than that

You are partway down the other side

Sorry if that leaves you flat

ONLY LIE ABOUT YOUR AGE

 

Only lie about your age,

In the event of an emergency

For example, when you are asked

How old you are sweetie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOTHER DEAR # 2

Happy birthday, mother dear

But your dreams won’t come true I fear

The one about the ten grandchildren

I’m gay and I thought I’d made that clear

I UNDERSTAND THAT GETTING OLD TODAY

  

I understand that getting old today

Can be quite scary, at first anyway

But what's it like now would you say?

MILESTONE 60 # 2

 

Ok I have to admit it, it’s only fair

I do tend to fall asleep in the chair

But my snoring is really not that bad

Just wait until you’re old like your dad