DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

 

Many years ago, in the days when the steak houses were only just appearing and there wasn’t a fast-food joint on every corner, indeed the only fast food establishment was the chip shop although the more cosmopolitan towns did have a wimpy bar.

Any way I arrived, with my wife, at a highly regarded and exclusive restaurant where I had a reservation, made three months in advance I might add.

Well on entering the restaurant the scene that greeted me was that of the Maitre’d being confronted by a very angry man in fact he was so angry that his face was a strange purple colour, and his temples were throbbing and the reason for his shouting was that he was demanding he be seated at the last available table.

The purple faced man in question was a well-known TV actor of the day in fact at the time he was starring in a series called “The Lotus Eaters” I won’t mention his name, but I can say that it wasn’t Wanda Ventham.

The Maitre’d looked a little relieved when he saw me come in and immediately informed the purple faced actor that the vacant table was in fact reserved for this gentleman and his companion and he gestured in my direction.

The charmless though interestingly coloured man, now turned his attention on me and tried to persuade me to give up my reservation by shouting loudly at me.

When I refused his kind offer, he said “Do you know who I am?”

“Yes” I said and told him exactly who he was and what program he was currently in.

“Do you know who I am?” I asked him in return.

He looked puzzled and then answered “No”.

“I’m the bloke with the reservation” I told him.

He then had thick blue veins throbbing in his neck to go with his purple face and his language was even more colourful than his head.