Love and Lust

HEAD TURNER

Every time she turns her head
All heads turn to her and she is viewed
But I am pleased to say she sees only me
And each time my desire is renewed

LOOKING VERY GOOD IN BLACK

I thought of how good she looked in black
When I saw her approaching
And anticipated the removal of the Green dress
At the end of the evening
IN HER WEDDING DRESS

In her wedding dress
His eyes watched as the sun
Danced on the silver thread.
The pattern was pure, unadulterated
Like the precious contents,
But that night his eyes alighted
On the pattern of another dress
One of shimmering silk
Whose pristine flimsiness
Stood momentarily between
Him and his expectant bride

BEAUTEOUS FLOWER

There is a great beauty
And hers was revealed
As it unfurled before me
Like the petals of a flower
Opening to the sun’s rays.
In a moment, embers,
Which had smouldered unseen
Ignited into burning fire
And that fire burned for her
And amidst that passion
Was a flaming desire
To see the petals of her
Own sweet flower
As yet unseen

WALKING HAND IN HAND

Walking hand in hand
Desire burned slow
And then a moonlight kiss
Ignites passions glow
And Nerves tingle
In baited anticipation
But he holds his roaring lust
In silence suppression
Though erotic thoughts
Bring Images of sin
And mouth-watering joys
That would soon begin



ARE YOU WEARING THAT TONIGHT?

Are you wearing that tonight?
I can’t say I’m not disappointed
You don’t normally have a hair out of place
And you are always perfumed and anointed
You haven’t bothered to get glammed up
So tonight you look like a plain Jane
I certainly don’t want to be seen with you
And you only have yourself to blame
You’ve done something out of place
And I really didn’t want to see “the girl below”
Yes I do think that it’s all over between us
But I don’t agree that I’m being shallow

A Little Bit Of Humour # 141

I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 11

I went into hospital for minor surgery
The staff did not fill me with confidence
As I was coming around I heard someone say
“Did anyone see where I left the instruments?”

ARE YOU WEARING CHIFFON?

Are you wearing chiffon?
So you’ve chosen style over substance
But you won’t hear me complain
As transparency tends to enhance

WE FOUND A BRILLIANT BUILDER

We found a brilliant builder
His workmanship is out of sight
The only snag is he’s Transylvanian
So he can only work at night

WHAT’S A BIDET?

While looking at a hotel website
His granddaughter asked “What’s a Bidet?”
The old soldier smiled wryly and retorted
“It’s a couple of days before D-Day”

DESICCATED SNACK POT

A new desiccated snack pot
Of dried dog and noodles
Are on sale in North Korea
They’re called Not Poodles

NEW BOND VILLAIN

There is a new Bond villain
Although the story is old
His name is Gold sphincter
And he has piles of gold

PAVLOV’S DOG AND SCHRODINGER’S CAT

I wanted a book about Pavlov’s Dog
And Schrodinger’s Cat
And I wanted it quite a lot
So I asked a librarian
And she said it rang a bell,
But she wasn’t sure if it was there or not

AU PAIR

The meaning of the term
Au pair, is a “Social equal”
So you will find your husband
Ran off with the social equal

ARE YOU WEARING A BLACK BODY STOCKING?

Are you wearing a black body stocking?
No I can assure you my tone is not mocking
And though the view may be thought shocking
It will certainly bring admirers flocking

True Nature # 10

IN THE FROST FILLED MEADOW

In the frost filled meadow
I watch the dawn’s first rays
Beginning to melt the frost
In the majesty of winter days

NOCTURNAL

Nocturnal creatures scurry
And bats take flight
As the owl stands sentinel
Over a woodland night

IN THE DEWY AUTUMN MEADOW

In the dewy autumn meadow
I watch the dawn’s first rays
Beginning to evaporate the mist
In the majesty of Autumn days

FLAMES OF THE FOREST

Leaves like tongues of fire
Set the scene ablaze
Kenya’s Flame trees
Burning bright in paradise

True Nature # 9

THE FIERCE SPRING GALES

The fierce spring gales
Howl all through the night
Whipping up the seas
And turning wave tops white
The poor souls at sea
On the dark spring night
In the teeth of the tempest
Feel it’s savage bite
And pray to their gods
To save them from their plight
As the gale blows through
On the dark spring night

IN THE DEWY SPRING MEADOW

In the dewy spring meadow
I watch the dawn’s first rays
Beginning to evaporate the mist
In the majesty of the spring days

BENEATH THE GREY SKIES

Beneath the grey skies
In the crisp morning air
An over confident fox
Chases after a march Hare

IN A COUNTRY LANE

In a country lane
Where the noise of a highway
Is thought too fanciful
A wagon carries bales of hay
As the farmer heads home
At the end of the day

BE MY VALENTINE

BE MY VALENTINE # 1

On Valentines Day
The valentine card said to the stamp
Stick with me and we'll go places!
While the farmer gave his wife
Hogs and kisses!
And the caveman gave his wife
Ughs and kisses!

BE MY VALENTINE # 2

On Valentines Day
The chocolate syrup said to the ice cream
"I'm sweet on you!"
While the pencil said to the paper
"I dot my i's on you!"
And the light bulb asked his girlfriend
Do I mean a whole watt to you?"

BE MY VALENTINE # 3

On Valentines Day
The bat said to his girlfriend
"You're fun to hang around with."
And the paper clip said to the magnet?
"I find you very attractive."

BE MY VALENTINE # 4

On Valentines Day
The nearsighted porcupine
Fell in love with a pin cushion!
And the elephant said to his girlfriend
"I love you a ton!"

BE MY VALENTINE # 5

On Valentines Day
One pickle said to the other
"Your love means a great dill"
Even skunks celebrate Valentine's Day
Because they're very scent-imental!

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES YET AGAIN

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 17

A diller, a dollar, a 10 o'clock scholar,What makes you arrive so late
It’s no good arriving at 10 o'clock
You’re Headmaster for goodness sake

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 18

There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Growing in the middle of her chest
With the sunlight on her
It looked like a comma
That punctuated her pert little breasts

(Little girl in this case refers to stature and not age, so stop composing a complaint already)

(Not really a nursery rhyme I know
So sorry to the fans of Longfellow)

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 19

A diller, a dollar, a 10 o'clock scholar,

What makes you come so soon?
Just think about cricket the next time

That we get down to it in my room

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 20

Twinkle, twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are?

Are you a star twinkling bright?
Or just another bloody satellite

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 21

Tom, Tom the pipers son

Stole a pig and away he ran,

The pig was ate and it tasted great

And so said everyone on Tom’s estate

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 22

Twinkle, twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are?

Are you the star I saw before?
Or an earth destroying meteor