A Little Bit Of Humour # 65

STAR STRUCK

A contagion struck down
Quentin Tarantino
Now he’s in the hospital
In a tent in quarantino

IF FOOTBALLERS SPENT MORE TIME

If footballers spent more time
Training and practising their skills
Instead of feeling the sting
Of the tattoo artists drills
They would gain the fans respect
Instead of looking like utter pills

FORTY IS THE OLD AGE OF YOUTH

Forty is the old age of youth
Which all sounds very sage
Whereas after another decade
Fifty is the youth of old age

THE BIG FIVE ZERO # 1

You may be 50
But don’t worry, yet
You’re not over the hill
So don’t you fret
There is nothing to fear
It’s only a number you know
It’s not as if overnight
You’ve lost your get up and go
It’s just a number, Happy Birthday.
It is a big number though

LIFE BEGINS AT 40 # 1

You may be 40
But don’t worry, yet
You’re not over the hill
So don’t you fret
There is nothing to fear
It’s only a number you know
You won’t suddenly get all wrinkly
Or ache from head to toe
It’s just a number, Happy Birthday.
You do look old though

OF COURSE YOU'RE NOT OLD

Of course you're not old
Stop making a fuss
You’ve just been young
Longer than most of us.

MILESTONE 60 # 1

You may be 60
But don’t worry, yet
You’re not over the hill
So don’t you fret
There is nothing to fear
It’s only a number you know
Think of it as ripening
Don't think of it as a blow,
You won't suddenly look haggard
That happened long ago
It’s just a number, Happy Birthday.
You are an age though

FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY

Would you like a home cooked meal?
And perhaps a good bottle of wine?
Good I phoned your mother
She said tomorrow at hers is fine

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOTHER DEAR # 1

Happy Birthday, mother dear
May all your wishes come true this year
Apart from the one I will not grant
That one that involves me being pregnant

ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR BY ALL MEANS

Enjoy your birthday this year by all means
Don’t do anything embarrassing at the do
After all you don't have quite as much time
Left to live this one down as you used to.

YES OF COURSE YOU'RE TWENTY NINE

Yes of course you're twenty nine
It’s so totally believable
With me being twenty three
I am naturally a little gullible.

I HEARD ON THE GRAPEVINE THAT YOUR BIRTHDAY

I heard on the grapevine that your birthday
Was cancelled due to lack of aging!
But now I give you a closer look
I can see that they were exaggerating

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOTHER DEAR # 2

Happy birthday, mother dear
But your dreams won’t come true I fear
The one about the ten grandchildren
I’m gay and I thought I’d made that clear

I UNDERSTAND THAT GETTING OLD TODAY

I understand that getting old today
Can be quite scary, at first anyway
But what's it like now would you say?

MILESTONE 60 # 2

Ok I have to admit it, it’s only fair
I do tend to fall asleep in the chair
But my snoring is really not that bad
Just wait until you’re old like your dad