I EMPLOYED LESBIAN CARPENTERS

 

I employed Lesbian Carpenters

And they are the best I’ve used

I would highly recommend them

They were called Tongue and groove

THERE’S A LESBIAN DINOSAUR # 2

There’s a Lesbian dinosaur

It has been Revealed to us

Which wore a strap-on

It’s named the Pegasaurus

THERE’S A LESBIAN DINOSAUR # 1

 

There’s a Lesbian dinosaur

It has been revealed to us

By exited Paleontologists who

Named it the Lickalotapus

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE CLOUDS

Some people are like clouds

In strange kind of way

Because when they fuck off

It becomes a beautiful day

I GOT A JOB AT A HELIUM FACTORY

 

I got a job at a Helium factory

But I quit after my first day

Because I didn’t really like

Being spoken to in that way

I WASN’T VERY GOOD AT MY JOB

 

I wasn’t very good at my job

And when I quit, I was mocked

When I quit as an Electrician

As they were really shocked

WE’RE GETTING A NEW STADIUM

 

We’re getting a new stadium

Though it’s not my cup of tea

There is much to discuss

It’s a bit too tent like for me

And I’m not alone and it will

Leave many a fan nonplus

They are turning Old Trafford

From the Theatre of Dreams

To Billy Smarts Circus