72 Miles From The Sea

Monday, 3 July 2023

I am fat and my goal is to slim down

To a healthy weight that my heart can afford

But for now, my ambition is to put

Half a box of chocolates back in the cupboard

Are you wearing a mankini?

Well the coverage is teeny

And you’re as fat as Mussolini

And I can see you’re weeny

I’m something of a joker

And follow the comedy craft

I even have a Mule joke

But to be fare it’s half assed

The difference between Santa Claus

And a serial philanderer, as it goes

Is in essence a total lack of self-control

Because Santa stopped at three ho’s

My friend says to me:

"What rhymes with orange?" I said:

"Oh no it doesn't!"

My mother made us eat

Supplements every day

One time I nearly choked

On the Mail on Sunday

A septuagenarian Pirate Captain

Sailed the warm waters off Haiti

And on his eightieth birthday

He said to his crew, "Aye matey"