OBJECTIFYING

 

Oh look

A glimpse of thigh

As her legs cross

Vary titillating

But the young girls

Hipster clad

Showing thongs

Fail to titillate.

However, the young woman

In the lemon dress

Illuminated in that shaft

Of golden sunlight

Does excite the senses

Now a well-endowed lass

On an adjacent table

Leans forward suddenly

And her breasts

Rearrange themselves

Delightfully before my eyes

I know I’m objectifying

But I feel no shame

As I sit and view

A curvaceous beauty,

A shapely leg,

Or well-sculptured ankle,

Pert well-formed buttocks,

Or plump or perky breasts

However, I dislike

Tarty or vampy

So, no bare midriffs

Or obscenely short skirts

Less is more in my opinion

So, objectifying or not

I feel no shame

For lecherous viewing

Where’s the sin

In looking

They are God’s creation

When all said and done

Well packaged morsels

Of his finest work

So why would he

Give us such delicacies

If he intended us not to look

So, where’s the sin

In objectifying such delights

Even if I am the Vicar

POPULAR AND ADORABLE

 

She was popular

And adorable

So, you might say

She’s Popularable

AFTER A LOCAL MAN WAS KILLED

 

After a local man was killed

By a falling piano

It has been announced

A low-key funeral will follow

I SUFFER WITH A PHOBIA

 

I suffer with a phobia

But I can’t admit it

So, I’m claustrophobic

But I’m in the closet

ARE YOU WEARING A STOVEPIPE HAT?

 

Are you wearing a Stovepipe Hat?

Its height certainly exceeds

Are you trying to look taller?

Well a very wise man heeds

That any man is only as tall

As the sum of his deeds

I’M SOMETHING OF A JOKER # 2

 

I’m something of a joker

People think I’m a weirdo

I even have a Tortoise joke

But to be fare it’s a bit slow

 

DIFFERENCES # 2

 

There is definitely a difference,

So please make no mistake,

Between crisps and a condom

One of them you salt and shake