A MAN SPILT ALL HIS SCRABBLE TILES

 

A man spilt all his Scrabble tiles

It happened in a heartbeat

Leaving letters all over the road,

"Well that's the word on the street?"

I BOUGHT THE WORLD'S WORST THESAURUS

 

I bought the world's worst thesaurus

And it’s irredeemable.

But it really is the worst

But not only is it terrible, it's terrible

THEY WANTED TO SPICE UP THE SEX

 

They wanted to spice up the sex

To get back on the same page

So she dressed as a mummy

As she thought he was into bandage

ARE YOU WEARING VOMIT IN YOUR HAIR?

 

Are you wearing vomit in your hair?

I fear it is a look that won’t be diminished

I've learned that you can keep on vomiting

Long after you think that you're finished 

HE WAS ONLY THE LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER

 

He was only the lighthouse keeper

And she was a girl from the docks

When the light went out on their love

Their relationship was on the rocks

SHE WANTED HIM TO CARRY HER UPSTAIRS

 

She wanted him to carry her upstairs

Before he made love to her

But he refused to do it because

He was the lighthouse keeper

HE GASPED AS HER HAIR CASCADED DOWN

 

Her hair cascaded down

And he gasped at the sight

But then it was winter,

So not waxing was alright