MY WIFE’S BIRTHDAY TOY

 

It was my wife’s birthday

So, I bought a sex toy for her

I don’t think it’s her fave

But it’s definitely up there

A TROPHY SISTER-IN-LAW

 

My brother decided

To take himself

A trophy wife

And I admit I was taken a back

As her ears stuck out

And the names

Of prior winner’s

Were tattooed down her back

JUST THINK OF YESTERDAY AS HISTORY

 

Just think of yesterday as history

And see tomorrow as a mystery

Just accept today for what it is, a gift

that’s we call it the present clearly

PLEASE DON'T PURSUE HAPPINESS

 

Please don't pursue happiness

It will just make you feel crappy

And its not the road to happiness

So, stay off that road and be happy

DESCRIPTIVE TRAVELLER

 

It was appropriate for a voyeur,

To live in the village of Watcham

To where I just returned yesterday

From the Northern town of Oldham

But as that is in the past now

I suppose it should be Feltham

ARE YOU WEARING A DISGUISE?

 

Are you wearing a disguise?

I think that’s probably wise

For to risk discovery is rash

For special agent Dick Splash

ALCOHOLIC CHEESE # 2

 

If a cheese likes to drink

And its dependence is clear

It has a drinking problem

And will go by the name Morbier