THE SOCIAL LIFE

 

 

Bimbette, an unmarried mother
Went to claim benefit
And in front of a case manager
She was asked to sit
He asked her
“How many children do you have then?”
After a few moments
Bimbette finally replied “Ten”
Horrified and thinking this was
“One of those claims
“Ten?” Said the case manager
“What are their names?”
Bimbette replied impatiently
“They're all called Wayne”
“They're all called Wayne?
Isn't that a bit of a pain?
“Naah” she said
“If they're out playing in the street
“I just shout, ““Come in Wayne”
and it works a treat”
“It works at bed time
and when it’s time for dinner”
“But what if”
asked the manager in a perturbed manner
“You want to speak to one boy individually?”
He said
“That's easy,” she replied
“I use their surnames instead”

I’M DOING A SEMAPHORE COURSE

 

I’m doing a semaphore course

And the time is really dragging

Its tiring as well, and after six hours

Of training I was really flagging

MY GIRLFRIEND LOVES HORSES AND

 

My girlfriend loves horses and

All things Shakespearian

And she says “To be or not to be

A horse rider, that is equestrian”

THE BUFFALO WAS LEAVING

 

The Buffalo was leaving

Because he wanted to be gone

But before he took his leave

He just had to say Bi-son

ARE YOU WEARING A SLEEPSUIT?

 

Are you wearing a sleepsuit?

Well on a baby it looks cute

Even on my girlfriend it can

But not on a fifty year old man

CHEESE CYCLE

 

My brother is a cyclist and a cheese nut

And he always carries some in his pannier

But he also has very particular tastes

So, the cheese he carries with him is Paneer

ONLINE MICE

 

Mice have very high standards

Including their online needs

So when they are surfing the web

Their search engine is Ask Cheese