HOLMES HAD OVERDOSED

 

Holmes told Watson that he had overdosed

Which caused something of a shock

Holmes then told him it was on Imodium 

And Watson exclaimed “No shit, Sherlock”

IF I DISCOVERED A NEW SPECIES

 

If I discovered a new species,

An animal to suit the agrarians

I would have to name it Quorn

To really mess with vegetarians

ARE YOU WEARING A CORSAGE? # 1

 

Are you wearing a corsage?

On your ample rounded breast

What a beautiful creation

I like the little rose bud best

KING GEORGE VI

King George VI was not a George

That’s hardly playing the game

Imagine my complete surprise when

I found out that Albert was his name

MY COUSIN DIED AFTER BEING STUNG BY A BEE

 

My cousin died after being stung by a bee

Although he didn’t have an allergy

He was over Niagara walking a tightrope

So, when he was stung there was no hope

MY BEST FRIEND COMES FROM A LONG LINE

 

My best friend comes from a long line

Of kleptomaniacs but he is the laziest of them

In fact he’s so lazy he could win an award

You really do have to hand it to him...

I WAS WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY ON TV

 

I was watching a documentary on TV

Last night about the viewing audience

And the decline in their attention spans

Well I watched some of it in my defense