I WAS IN THE APPLE STORE

 

I was in the Apple Store being served when I loudly farted

And the sales guy got mad and we almost came to blows

More Apple staff and even other customers joined in

But it wasn’t my fault that they didn't have Windows

THEY MADE A CLEAN GETAWAY

 

They made a clean getaway

To a remote destination

For peace and quiet

And dirty intentions

A MUSCIAN WANTED A HOLIDAY BY THE SEA

 

A musician wanted a holiday by the sea

Under blue skies with an ocean breeze

And as she was a pianist she knew exactly

Where she wanted to go, the Florida Keys

THERE’S A GREAT VOLUME I’M READING

 

There’s a great volume I’m reading

About Japanese Sword-Fighting,

It’s quite a detailed manuscript

Would you like me to samuraise it?

THERE IS A NEW UNIT OF MEASUREMENT

 

There is a new unit of measurement

And I promise it’s not flimflam

For calculating the weight of a hipster

The base unit is an Instagram

SHE WAS SITTING AT THE DINING TABLE

 

She was sitting at the dining table

And I was suspiciously watching

As she had a pen and graph paper

So, she was plotting something

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 424

 

Oranges and Lemons

Say the bells of St. Clement's?

No, they really don’t

You are delusional