I THINK IT’S PROBABLY A MYTH

 

I think it’s probably a myth

Regarding multitasking women

Like the Loch Ness Monster or

Shy retiring used car salesmen

BURNING AWAY

 

Once lit the candle of life burns

Hour by hour, day by day

As the candle's wax melts away,

the hours of your life melt with it

A peaceful quiet life

Produces a gentle flickering light

But burning the candle at both ends.

Causes a tongue of flame

But by flicker or blaze

The hours of your life will burn

THE MOST PERFECT SUMMER DRINK # 1

The most perfect drink

To quench a thirst, without fail

On a hot summers day

Is a cool glass of ginger ale

WHILE EAVES DROPPING IN THE VESTRY

 

While eaves dropping in the vestry

I heard mention of a blasphemy palaver

Or so I thought, but it turned out

That the vicar said raspberry pavlova

I ASKED CAROLINE OUT ON A DATE

 

I asked Caroline out on a date

At the start of the summer break

Neither of us had dated before

So, there was quite a lot at stake

We met at the entrance to the park

And walked to the café on the lake

We sat at a table in the window

Where she had a strawberry milk-shake

Which she drank through a straw

But my choice proved to be a mistake

As I tried to be more grown up

And ordered coffee and cupcake

The coffee was bitter and something

In the cake caused a hives outbreak

Our second date was less eventful

But was far more memorable

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 412

Tuesday’s child isn’t full of grace

Because she and her friend Trace

Are full of cheap cider and ale

And will end up in A&E without fail

ARE YOU WEARING SLUTTY GARB?

 

Are you wearing slutty garb?

And are you trying to talk smut

Well, I admire your endeavour, but

You’re wearing too much for a slut