THE ROADS WERE UNEVEN AND BUMPY

 

The roads were uneven and bumpy,

Potholed and rutted

Which is no more than what

You come to expect

Of a third world country

Unfortunately, I was driving in Surrey

THE OVER 50 EXERCISE PLAN

 

With a 2kg potato bag in each hand,

Extend your arms straight out from your sides

And hold them there as long as you can.

Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day you'll find that you can hold

This position for just a bit longer on this plan.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 5kg potato bags.

Then try 25kg potato bags and eventually 50kg bags

When you are ready put a potato in each of the bags.

I DECIDED TO TAKE AN AEROBICS CLASS FOR SENIORS

 

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

And I had to gyrate, jump, twist and bend

And I sweated for an hour, but, by the time I got

My leotard on, the class was already at an end

RELATIONSHIP RULES

 

Anything I may have said

Six months ago to you

Is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, in my view

All comments become null and void

After a day or two

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 399

 

Little Jack Jingle,

He used to live single;

But his friends got tired

Of his happy single life

And bullied and cajoled

Until he got himself a wife

ARE YOU WEARING THAT LADY’S FAVOUR?

 

Are you wearing that lady’s favour?

Well, I should tell you sir knight

That if you’re fighting for her virtue

It really isn’t worth the fight

THE PREFECT AND THE OIK

 

“Why are you always such a dirty little oik?”

The prefect asked

“You are the dirtiest pupil by far,

Look at me, I’m always clean and smart”

The boy replied

“I'm closer to the ground than you are”