THE YOUNG PERFORMER WAS EGGED ON

 

The young performer was egged on

To the stage by his pushy parents

But he was soon egged off it again

By an unappreciative audience

A TEACHER HELD A SPELLING BEE

 A teacher held a spelling bee and asked

“Kyle, how do you spell “crocodile?”“

“K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L” he said

“No, that's not the way to spell Crocodile”

Said the teacher “Maybe it’s wrong, but you

Asked me how I spell it” explained Kyle

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 394

 

Friday's child

Is loving and giving,

(Especially on a Friday night when they’re pissed)

ARE YOU WEARING A BARRETTE?

 

Are you wearing a barrette?

I can see something shining there

Holding your tresses from your face

Silver in your brunette hair

I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 16

 

I went into hospital for minor surgery

The staff did not fill me with a sense of security

As I was going under I heard the surgeon say

“Hand me that...uh...that uh... doohicky”

MY FATHER TRADES ON THE STOCK EXCHANGE

 

My father trades on the stock exchange

He really enjoys the thrill

Last week he traded boxes of Oxo cubes

For multiple jars of Bovril

YOU’VE BURNED THE DINNER AGAIN

 

“You’ve burned the dinner again” he said

To the plate with the burnt offering on

“It’s not burned, its caramelized” she retorted

“Well, you’ve caramelized it to carbon”