72 Miles From The Sea

Sunday, 5 March 2023

An accident in the kitchen

When the condiments ignited

Blew mixed herbs in my eyes

And left me Parsley-sighted

When asked what he did for a living

He replied furtively “I’m a spy”

When told he was dressed as a farmer

He added “I’m a shepherd Spy”

I thought he was shot in the forest

But I was wrong, and the reason

Was a simple misunderstanding

He was shot in the Lumbar region

Sister Agatha at the convent

Was somnambulistic

The sleep walking nun

Was called a Roaming Catholic

Thursday's child

Has far to go,

(Well I hope they’re not travelling on Southern Rail)

Are you wearing an apron?

It’s very pretty and frilly

It’s not very big though

Just enough to cover your Willy

I went into hospital for minor surgery

The staff did not fill me with a sense of well being

As I was going under, I heard the surgeon say

“It’s a shame Page 47 of the manual was missing!”