DESICCATED WIFE

 

Henry the Eight desiccated his dead wife

Though she had always been a paragon,

Then she was finely chopped and put in a jar

And that’s the tale of Catherine of tarragon

WRITER CHARLES DICKENS

 

Writer Charles Dickens

Kept in his kitchen

The best of thymes,

The worst of thymes

AN ACCIDENT IN THE KITCHEN

 

An accident in the kitchen

When the condiments ignited

Blew mixed herbs in my eyes

And left me Parsley-sighted

WHEN THE ALLSPICE SINGERS

 

When the allspice singers

Really went off the rails

Coryanda and star Anise

Had the Pepperatzi on their tails

THERE IS A PARTICULAR HERB

 

There is a particular herb

That by reason and rhyme

Is most injurious to a lady's

Beauty and that is Thyme

MY GARDENER HAS OCD

 

My gardener has OCD

His herb beds are alphabetized

I asked how he found the time

“It’s next to the Sage” he replied