72 Miles From The Sea

Sunday, 26 February 2023

Twinkle, Twinkle, little star

I think there’s something wrong

Because you have the same tune

As that annoying Alphabet Song

Are you wearing spanx?

I thought that was the case

Because you’ve got a fat neck

And a very red face

I went into hospital for minor surgery

The whole surgical team acted like comedians

As I was going under I heard the surgeon say

“Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!”

I don’t walk with the crowd and

I’m not the usual Microwave user

I like to stop it at one second

Just to feel like a bomb de-fuser.

The secret to a happy married life

Is that you should simply remember

That to keep on the good side of your wife

Silence is sometimes the best answer

I don’t mind you not being glammed up

But a gent’s tweed suit is not your normal attire

Is there any reason for your change of style?

Is the masculine look some form of satire?

The Grim Reaper came for me last night

And I could barely catch my breath

But I beat him away with a vacuum cleaner

And was really Dyson with death.