THE MOST OBEDIENT INANIMATE OBJECTS

 

The most obedient inanimate objects

Are Bells, if I may make so bold

And the reason for that is they make

A noise whenever they are tolled

THERE IS A PARTICULAR HERB

 

There is a particular herb

That by reason and rhyme

Is most injurious to a lady's

Beauty and that is Thyme

NICOLA STURGEON, THE SCOTTISH FIRST MINISTER

 

Nicola Sturgeon, the Scottish First Minister

Says she want’s independence from Westminster

But it’s illogical, she’s just flexing her muscles

As Scotland will become dependent on Brussels

I WAS TOLD SOMETHING INTERESTING

 

I was told something interesting

By the RSPCA Man

He said Dogs can’t have an MRI

But explained that CatsCan

AUTOMATED CONCEIT

 

The guy was so conceited that when

He stood in the cubicle with nothing on

And his automatic shower came to life

He thought his nakedness had turned it on

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 377

 

Mary had a little lamb

She also had a lama

And that’s because she’s

A short sighted farmer

ARE YOU WEARING DENIM?

 

Are you wearing denim?

I didn’t know you could still buy it

It’s just like I remember

And it still smells like shit