72 Miles From The Sea

Friday, 3 February 2023

I have been told to exercise

But I am deliberately refraining

As refusing to go to the gym

Counts as resistance training

Hospitality is an art form

Making your guests feel

Like they're actually at home,

While wishing they were for real

The media keep talking about

An obesity time bomb

Well, I hope I’m nowhere nearby

When it goes off chum

There’s been a lot of talk lately

In the media about blue on blue

But it shouldn’t be a surprise

Because that’s Smurf porn for you

We must rewrite the history books

King Tut was not really Egyptian

Dad was a Scot, his Mum Spanish

And he was named Tartan Carmen

How many miles to Babylon?

Are measured in the blood

Of the innocents

Are you wearing odd socks?

I suppose the look is a bit hipster

But honestly at your age, you are

Meat and drink for a quipster